How to have a genuine connection with people
Extending conversations from words to beyond
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Dare to fail your way to success - Moon AricaThere’s no better skill than people skills
People are the foundation of our lives. Whether it’s family, friends, business partners, or acquaintances, we thrive on human connection. Every interaction, every conversation shapes the way we experience the world and build relationships.
But the true, authentic people skills, aren’t taught in school. They’re learned through experience, trial and error, and genuine curiosity about others.
This post will help you lay a strong foundation for creating meaningful connections. But don’t stop here, go out and apply these ideas in your daily life. Real connection happens in real conversations, not just in theory.
How to build a genuine connection
Start by understanding people.
Every meaningful conversation starts with understanding. When you truly understand someone, you speak a shared language that goes beyond words. Understanding lays the foundation for deeper, more fulfilling interactions.
It’s not enough to exchange pleasantries or stick to small talk. You must actively listen and try to grasp the meaning behind what’s being said.
Surface-level chatter is easy, but real connection thrives when you move beyond that and delve into the depths of another person’s experiences, feelings, and values.
Here’s how you can extend your conversations and create genuine, lasting connections.
🧩Be present
In a world full of distractions, simply being fully present is powerful. Put away your phone, maintain eye contact, and give the person your full attention. Presence shows that you value the other person and what they have to say.
In a world overflowing with distractions, the simple act of being fully present can be transformative. How often do we glance at our phones mid-conversation, half-heartedly nodding as we pretend to listen?
Presence is a gift, one that says, I see you. I hear you. I value what you’re saying. When you give someone your full attention, you invite deeper connection, so
put your phone away
maintain eye contact
focus on their words
Presence fosters trust and makes the other person feel important and appreciated.
🧩Ask open-ended questions
The depth of a conversation often hinges on the questions you ask.
Instead of asking questions that lead to short, one-word responses, open the door to deeper insights. Ask questions that encourage storytelling:
“How did you manage to do that”
“What was that experience like for you?”
“What are you most excited about right now?”
These types of questions invite the other person to share more of themselves, to go beyond surface-level facts and express their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Open-ended questions extend the conversation by helping you truly understand the person in front of you. They provide the room for the other person to reveal who they are, what they care about, and what drives them.
🧩Listen with curiosity
The first rule to good listening is to listen actively.
Don’t listen just to respond, listen to understand.
Too often, we listen just to respond, eager to jump in with our own thoughts. But genuine listening requires patience and curiosity. You’re not just waiting for your turn to speak, you’re diving into the other person’s world, seeking to understand them deeply.
Curiosity is key. Notice when their tone shifts, when they get excited or passionate about something, and follow that thread. Ask them more about it. Your genuine interest in their thoughts, emotions, and experiences shows that you care.
When someone feels that their words truly matter, that you’re not just hearing them but listening to them, connection naturally follows.
🧩Share thoughtfully
Reciprocity in conversations is key and sharing is a form of reciprocity.
Building a connection isn’t about one person talking while the other listens, it’s a mutual exchange. Share parts of yourself, but do so thoughtfully, share
your personal stories
similar or contrary experiences
your vulnerabilities
and allow the conversation to unfold naturally.
Be mindful of how the sharing contributes to the conversation.
Are you building on what the other person said, or are you steering the dialogue in a different direction?
Thoughtful sharing keeps the connection balanced. The sharing is not just about you, but about finding common ground where both sides feel heard and understood.
Let your responses reflect not just the words spoken, but the emotions behind them. A meaningful nod, a pause to reflect, or even a moment of shared silence can speak volumes and create a sense of trust.
🧩Continuing conversations
Real connection doesn’t end when the conversation does.
Follow up on topics you discussed, check in on how they’re doing, and reference things they shared with you in the past. These small acts of attention show that you’re not just invested in the moment but in the person themselves.
Genuine relationships are built over time, nurtured by consistency and care. Conversations may start with words, but real connections go beyond words.
They live in the actions that follow.
Whether it’s remembering a detail from a previous chat or continuing a discussion where you left off, these moments of engagement deepen the connection.
Move from just talking to feeling, from understanding to connecting. Real bonds are formed when you move beyond surface-level exchanges and invest in truly knowing one another.
Ready to extend your conversation?
Extending conversations and creating genuine connections require presence, curiosity, and sincere effort. It's easy to fall into the routine of polite replies, but real connection comes from going deeper, engaging more fully, and caring more genuinely.
When people feel seen, heard, and understood, the conversation moves from mere words to a shared experience. Genuine connection begins when we extend ourselves beyond the surface, and that’s where real relationships grow.
Start by listening, asking, and sharing with intent. Your words will become the bridge to deeper, more meaningful connections.
Be a forerunner, take the lead. - Moon AricaIf you like someone else to embrace a Dare to Fail mindset, please restack and recommend it.
Expand your comfort zone here, tell me your thoughts:
What do you feel when someone tell you something that was sad?
Do you use the words “I think“ or “I feel“ more in your conversations?
On writing:
Thanks for reading.