I don’t belong here 🤔- the silent battle no one talks about

Don't let impostor syndrome destroy your dreams

The old man sat by the window, hands folded, eyes distant. The late afternoon light slanted across his desk, illuminating the half-finished equations on a tattered notebook. He exhaled, watching dust particles swirl in the golden glow. The world saw him as a genius, a man who had unravelled the very fabric of time and space.

“I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler.” he murmured, his wild white hair drooping back, but his eyes still burning with curiosity.

Did you know that even Albert Einstein was hit by impostor syndrome?

Having second thoughts

You walk into a room filled with smart, successful people, your heart is racing and your brain is whispering:

“You don’t belong here.”

“They’ll find out you’re a fraud.”

“They’ll realize you’re not as talented as they thought.”

You smile. You nod. You pretend to belong. But inside? You’re convinced you’re just one mistake away from being exposed.

Sound familiar? This isn’t just self-doubt, it’s called impostor syndrome. And it’s far more common than you think.

What is impostor syndrome?

Impostor syndrome is the belief that you’re not as competent as others perceive you to be, that your achievements are just luck, timing, or tricking people into thinking you’re smarter than you are.

No matter how much you accomplish, you feel like a fraud waiting to be exposed. And it doesn’t matter how skilled, talented, or experienced you actually are, your brain convinces you that you don’t deserve success.

The worst part? It doesn’t go away with more success.

The more achievements you have? There is

• more pressure

• more expectations

• more fear of being “found out”

The higher you climb, the more you feel like you should belong. Instead, you feel even more out of place. And that’s where the real struggle begins.

The psychology hehind

So why does this happen? Why do we struggle with impostor syndrome?

It boils down to three psychological traps.

1️⃣ The more you know, the less you feel you know

Ever heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect? It’s a cognitive bias in which people with limited competence in a particular domain overestimate their abilities. When someone is just a beginner, they tend to overestimate their abilities because they don’t know what they don’t know. They push on based on passion and faith.

But the more they learn, the more aware they become of their knowledge gaps. So after a while, instead of feeling more confident, they feel less qualified.

This is ironic, because feeling like an impostor often means you’re becoming more knowledgeable.

It’s proof of growth.

2️⃣You think people notice every mistake

Maybe you imagine yourself being placed under the spotlight, where people are noticing everything about you. Maybe you did something great, and you think people are impressed. Or maybe you did something awkward, and you imagined people laughing behind your back. You magnified every moment and people’s reactions.

The Spotlight Effect is when people believe they are being noticed more than they are.

But the truth is, people are too caught up in their own self-doubts to analyze yours. Nobody is watching you as closely as you think.

3️⃣ Comparing your blooper reel to others’ highlight reel

You scroll social media and see success stories, achievements and victories. Meanwhile, you see your own struggles, insecurities, and failures up close. You begin to compare and start feeling like crap.

But is that kind of comparison fair?

What you see are the edited version, and what you experienced are your own raw, unfiltered reality. And that’s a battle you’ll never win.

• You’ll never catch up

• You’ll never be adequate

• The impostor syndrome will always lurk around

Even the greats feel this way

Think this only happens to amateurs?

Think again.

“I've written 11 books. But each time I think, uh-oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everybody. They're going to find me out.” ~ Maya Angelou

“No matter what we've done, there comes a point where you think, 'How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?” ~ Tom Hanks

“feeling like I don’t belong” ~ Michelle Obama

If these icons, people who have changed history, felt like they didn’t belong…what makes you think you shouldn’t feel this way sometimes?

Feeling this way is a good sign

Feeling like an impostor means you’re growing. It’s not proof that you’re unqualified. It’s proof that you’re stepping outside your comfort zone.

If you’ve never felt impostor syndrome, it probably means you’re not challenging yourself enough.

You feel like you don’t belong? That’s because you’re in a room big enough to challenge you.

And that’s exactly where you should be.

How to stop feeling like a fraud

✅ Fact-check your thoughts

Let’s say you’re talking to a friend, would you talk to them the way you talk to yourself?

If they said, “I got lucky” or “I don’t deserve this,” would you agree?

So, if you said this about yourself, should you be believing it?

Your thoughts are not always facts.

Learn to question them.

✅ Keep a “Win List”

Success isn’t luck and you can make your own luck.

Keep track of your achievements and note down the moments you were proud of. When doubt creeps in, these glorious moments will dispel the negativities.

Your brain is great at remembering failures and forgetting wins.

Reverse the trend and get good at documenting wins. Spur yourself on with these dopamine highs.

✅ Stop waiting for permission

Nobody feels ready. Just show up and figure it out. Your fear of “not being ready” is just another form of procrastination. At some point, you just have to start.

Don’t wait for someone to grant you permission. No one is handing you a golden ticket, telling you, now, you may begin. If you wait for approval, you’ll wait forever. If you ask for validation, you’ll never feel ready.

So stop waiting. Stop asking. Just start.

The only permission you need is your own.

You’re not an impostor, you are becoming

You don’t feel like an impostor because you’re a fraud. You feel like one because you care.

• You care about doing great work.

• You care about improving.

• You care about earning your success.

That’s not weakness. That’s the sign of someone who is actually good at what they do.

The only people who never feel impostor syndrome are the ones who never push themselves.

And that’s not you.

You’re here because you earned it.

And that’s all the proof you need.

Dare to fail so you can dare to win - Moon Arica

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Expand your comfort zone here, tell me your thoughts:

Do you sigh a lot? That’s the sign that there are many negative thoughts in your mind. Do you agree?

1. Have you ever suffered from impostor syndrome?

2. Do you believe in “fake it till you make it“?

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Previous article in the Dare To Win series:

Self-doubt is a liar, self-worth is the truth

How to overcome the fear of failure

What’s up next…

If you’re struggling with procrastination, this is for you.

Thanks for reading!